Bobby Boz: Defender of the Year
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This is the year of the undrafted central defender. First Jay DeMerit helps Watford FC get to the Premiership (and himself to a fat new contract) and now Bobby Boswell is MLS’s Defender of the Year.
The Boz is an Ice Cold Defenda’!
Just like the video game and James Bond, Bobby Boswell has two goals:
- Destroy all attacks
- Date hot chicks
The Boz is a full-time playa too! When Boz is in the Two-Oh-Two, at a club, and cupcakin’ some honeys, he uses his mad skillz to fend off the posers and other playa’s.
Sheeeeet, man! I once saw Bobby roll up in his ’89 Corolla (on 24†dubs!) and just walk right into the Denny’s – right past the line – playas be hollering at him left and right.
On the field, he has to make sure Taylor Twellman doesn’t get his Sputnik-size head near the goal. Plus, Bobby ain’t afraid to Knuckle Up . . . right, Carlos?
And if you play defender I could be your hyper space!
The Beasties speak The Word! They know when you are working Defender’s joystick you can’t always reach the hyperspace button. You need some help. So we also salute the rest of United’s defenders:
- Facundo “What, me worry?†Erpen: Facundo is like the X-Games. Everything is an extreme. He’ll score an amazing goal one minute and then make a pass directly to the other team. He’ll make a sweet tackle to break up a play and then push a player down in the box minute later. You never know. It is part of the fun!
- Bryan “With a Y†Namoffâ€: This fifth year vet isn’t the fastest, strongest, or tallest defender in the league. But, he gets the job done, ladies. He. Gets. The. Job. Done.
- Brandon “Ole!†Prideaux: There are few certainties in life, but two are Death and Brandon Prideaux getting turned near the goal. He’ll be up in some forward’s grill and that forward will just sort of turn left and Brandon will let him pass by his hip like a matador. Ole! But, that only happens once a game. The rest of the time he’s solid as W. Bush’s head.
- David “Fifth Overall Pick†Stokes: For every group of undrafted greats like Bobby Boswell, Troy Perkins, Jay DeMerit, Avery Johnson and Ben Wallace there is a group of drafted mediocrity like David Stokes, Joe Smith, and Kwame Brown.
- John Wilson: Defender Robot!
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