Are You There God? It’s Me, T.J. Simers.
T.J. Simers is upset. (I know. Who?) Apparently, the LA Times sports provocateur has been unable to get an interview with Soccer Jesus, David Beckham. Simers thought Becks was “brought to L.A. to put soccer on the U.S. map and make MLS or MSL or whatever they call the soccer league that ranks here right up there with the Arena league into something more meaningful.” Scathing, T.J.! There is no better technique for amusing the reader than feigning ignorance about the subject you are writing about; it really brings out the sarcasm in a piece. It also brings out the writer’s stupidity.
The rest his column’s section ranting about Beck’s snub is typical drivel: Beckham hasn’t done anything, he’s not that good (because he doesn’t score lots of goals), he’s only a vapid, pretty boy, and everyone else is a bigger star – in this case Simers is pretty sure noted asshole, Kobe Bryant is a bigger star. (Stop laughing. I’m sure there are hundreds of people rockin’ Bryant jerseys in Europe.) You know how the rest of such crap plays out.
However, if you keep reading his column you realize that no one talks to Simers! There is a citation to a time when he had trouble getting access to George Lopez and now apparently the PGA owes Simers a call back about talking to Phil Mickelson. Poor T.J. – someone give him a hug!
Comment:
I couldn’t agree with you more, how in the world does that mean still have a job as a journalist…
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