I still donâ€™t understand why you threw away my Charles in Charge lunch box, Gertrude.
It was not! The only thing stupid was you getting rid of a perfectly good Scott Baio collectible.
I was using it! I kept my emergency pudding cups in there!
What?! Back on what?
Welcome back to The Far Post! Letâ€™s get caught up on the news . . .
Now that the UEFA Champions League has reached (around) the knockout phase, weâ€™ll begin reporting on the competition. I’d pay a dollar to see Samanthaâ€™s underwear, but I have no time to think about matches with teams named HafnarfjÃ¶rdur, Dudelangem or Rabotnicki. You know, I think I contracted HafnarfjÃ¶rdur back in 1911 when I was in the French Foreign Legion â€“ that somâ€™ bitch itched worse than chicken pox.
Europeans may hate our policy in the Middle East, but they sure have a hard-on for our soccer players. As long time readers and first time callers know, Brian Carroll is our boy. Still, I never would have expected him to have meaningful trials with a Bundesliga 1 team and a possible contract offer from a Ligue 1 team.
If Marseille bring him on, Iâ€™m gonna immediately pitch a reality series to France 2 based on Brian and Cisse living in a flat together. Iâ€™ll call it â€œThe B.C.â€Â Â I’ll also get all the latest French emo bands to record songs for the warm, bonding scenes involving Cisse coloring Brianâ€™s hair. Sooooo sweet!Â But, I’ll use some sweet hip-hop for when Brian has to wash Cisseâ€™s pimped out Dodge van.
Hungry Like a Wolffâ€™s signing wasnâ€™t as much of a surprise. TSV 1860 Munich loves Duran Duran!
Freddyâ€™s trip was obvious. But, David Stokes at St. Pauli. Puh-lease!
Bend [The Rules] Like Beckham
Designated Players Weâ€™d Like to See in MLS:
- Ronaldo â€“ no mater how fat
- Roy Makaay
No matter what players end up in MLS, lets hope they have flair and can score. â€˜Cause I am sick of all these lame-ass bicycle kicks winning Goal of the Year.
- All Star Game Pictures
- We’ve already paid for ourselves too!
- A Win, eh?
- Live Blogging the US Soccer Presser
- A Night in Columbus