The intertubes are broadcasting the presser. We listen in . . .listening.gif

10:55 a.m. — Christian “Divine Church of Machosensual Sciences” TM – Laettner in the house!

10:55 a.m. — Don Garber: Does a nice job of sucking up to the locals without pissing of the rest of the teams by saying DCU is “probably” the “most storied” club. Short. Sweet. Good points about the diversity of DC and its ownership group.

11:00 a.m. — Everyone laughs nervously at Fenty. (Silently repeating in their heads. Suck-up to this guy!) Again, his comments were nice and short.

11:01 a.m. — Congresswoman Norton invokes her inner Ted Kennedy and skips all formal remarks for pandering and rambling. But, she has great points about United’s commitment to the City.

11:02 a.m. — Congresswoman Norton pulls back the curtain on the land transfer. Damn, she’s good. I can’t imagine all the work it must take to make the Feds move on this issue.

11:03 a.m. — Nice plug for Juhda Cooks as Santa.

11:04 a.m. — Ward 8 future stars? BigSoccer immediately starts a “Ward 8 Stars Rumors” thread and rates the talent. One posters asks, “Why hasn’t United signed any of these players yet!!!!! We have games in six weeks!!!!!”

11:06 a.m. — Kevin Payne thanks the old owners, but no one claps right away . . .

11:08 a.m. — Helping DC children “every bit as rewarding as winning games and championships”, but not as rewarding as kicking NY’s ass. That is a different kind of rewarding.

11:11 a.m. — Vincent Gray with a lame “family owned” business joke. Brian Davis is married to Gray’s cousin.

11:13 a.m. — New drinking game! Everytime Ward 8 is mentioned, drink!

11:15 a.m. — MacFarlane still learning players names. I don’t blame him. After all the trades, so are we!

11:17 a.m. — Dream Field announced. If you build it, will them come? I bet, so. Every kid needs a place to play.

11:20 a.m. — Props to Kevin Payne. Good stats on soccer. This is probably a smarter investment than it was for Hunt and others in 1996.

11:21 a.m. — I can’t help but think all this community service is putting other leagues on notice. To do business in DC, you need to participate in the City’s overall goals.

Side note: Didn’t Lalas try and label the Gals as “the jewel of MLS”? Pleeeeeaaaassseeee! DCU is out classing LA 100-times over today.

11:26 a.m. — Brian Davis on the mic.

11:27 a.m. — Oooooh! Phone ring!

11:28 a.m. — Mayor for Life, Barry is Brian Davis’ favorite politician. So awesome on so many levels. (Be more cynical than just the crack bust about this. This about keeping him in good graces for the stadium.)

11:30 a.m. — “Adrian has balls”

11:33 a.m. — Tom Sherwood gets to the hard hitting questions about the land deal . . . he is wisely skeptical of anything DC tries to get from the Feds.

11:34 a.m. — Our first soccer question! ‘Will DCU have money to play for players?’

11:36 a.m. — Ah, yes. Who will pay for the stadium? Tricky question. I bet DC would like to get some income from a stadium, but will they pony up cash for it? There are schools to renovate. Police and firemen to hire . . . lots of other priorities I bet.

11:39 a.m. — MacFarlane: “Obviously the team needs a new stadium”

11:31 a.m. — Jack Edwards and Brian Davis have the same barber and both live in Ward 2. At least one principal owner lives in DC . . . that should help with PR.

The end. Gertrude! Time for some tapioca!

# # #

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