Calling Guys Out
The Columbus Crew defeated D.C. United 2 –1 tonight the same way any team can beat United: by making Gonzalo Peralta try and head the ball.
It’s not time to push the panic button yet, but it is time to call out some dudes:
Jaime Moreno: The Black-and-Red’s captain is starting to look like Marco Etcheverry circa 2003. You know the season. It was the one in which El Diablo tried to walk-in every goal and sort of scampered around the midfield spraying passes. Moreno is not there yet, but I’m not sure he should be starting. If he does start, what is his role? If it is to walk-in every goal and have it trickle into the net that isn’t going to work.
Disco Rod Dyachenko: Disco Rob is the Keyser Söze of midfielders. He enters the game “and poof. Just like that, he’s gone.” “If he comes up for anything, it will be to get rid of me. After that, my guess is you’ll never hear from him again.”
Emilio: The dude is a poacher. Poachers are streaky and frustrating. This season he’s being asked to hold the ball with his back to the goal, but MLS defenders have figured out if you lean on him he gets so distracted he can’t make the appropriate pass to a teammate.
Gonzalo Peralta: 6-2 with low speed and no hops. Stop getting beat on headers!
Tom Soehn: You get some extra time to prepare after complaining about not having any time due to the busy schedule and your team comes out flat and predictable. I suppose we should have guessed his fate last year when he didn’t win the MLS Cup. Only one other coach didn’t win a cup his first season as coach – yep, Ray Hudson.
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Sure, none of this is fair. But that’s what is fun about having a website! You can bash perfectly nice and normal people. (And yes, I do have a job where people scrutinize my work all the time.)
Game Rating:
2 out of 5 ESPN Channels (old school kind)
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