DCU – TFC Drinking Game
The only way to watch a D.C. United game this year is heavily medicated or drunk. Since not everyone has access to drugs, we offer the following drinking game to help you through the upcoming match on Saturday.
Take a drink every time:
- Marcelo Gallardo makes a sweet pass to a United forward standing still and unready for the ball.
- Gallardo makes an errant pass straight to TFC’s d-mid.
- Marvell Wynne sprints up the field with the ball and then shanks a cross out of bounds.
- Clyde Simms wilts under high pressure from the TFC midfield and passes back to a defender.
- Danny Dichio elbows someone in the face.
- Jaime Moreno passes instead of shoots. (You can’t walk-in everyone goal Jaime.)
- Emilio attempts to trap the ball and it bounces 3-yards away from him.
- Amando Guevara complains about a foul he obviously committed.
- Wells kicks it to the head of a TFC player off a goal kick.
- Drink every time TFC scores.
And of course ….
You should be drunk by the 10th minute!
For the kids or non-drinkers we offer the:
Teatotaller Version!
Guaranteed to require no consumption at all!
Drink every time:
- Emilio scores
And hey, on the off chance he does score you’ll want a drink anyway!
Comment:
Terrifying and true.
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