Authorities confirmed today the mysterious stench that settled over Manhattan on Monday has been traced to a local MLS team called the New York Red Bulls.

New York City officials from the Mayor’s office initially dismissed the foul odor as a non-threatening natural phenomenon. But, officials from the EPA following-up on leads from city residents traced the problems to the Red Bull’s training facility in New Jersey.

“We knew the odor wasn’t a chemical agent. Our sensors didn’t detect anything harmful,” explained an official that didn’t want to be identified because public officials no longer talk on the record. “Still, people were uncomfortable and becoming sick. I had seen this only once before – at a Red Bulls game. So we took the equipment out to the training ground to test the area. Sure enough, we smelled a terrible scent and found signs of a rotten, bloated, dead season.”

Manhattan residents were relieved to learn the cause was not a terrorist attack, but many suggested frustration that the Red Bulls haven’t cleaned-up there act.

“The team is just wretched, I’m not surprised,” explained SoHo resident Jake Wilson.

Sporting director and head coach Bruce Arena could not immediately explain the team’s foul habits, but suggested they were aware of the problem and working toward a resolution.

“Obviously, we are not a good team right now,” Arena said. “We need some more scoring threats and better shape – especially on our back line. But, you know, that’s why we have an off season and we’ll get better.”

City officials said the decaying season must be cleaned-up by the end of the week, or it will considering fining the team or sending it to Rochester.

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