Euro Outta Here!
Damn it, McClure! I leave you in you charge for awhile and the place goes to crap!
You’re fired!
What, Gertrude? On what — our mom? Oh!
On the air . . .
Ahem.
I’m baaaaack! When I last left you, I was wrapping up coverage from Emperor Wilhelm II’s tournament of foot-ball. The blue team had won and they were cutting some dude’s hair.
Now I learn there is another tournament in Europe. It seems the Swiss and Austrians have created some unholy alliance and are hosting their own games of foot-ball. As long-time readers know, I despise the Swiss for their isolationist policies and refusal to extradite Count Chocula for crimes against the roof of my mouth. Neutral is for cars, not countries. Jerks.
I’m suspicious that the Le Tène culture can pull off this tournament, but we’ll see. Gertrude, Lefty, and the rest of my crack team of reports are back and ready to watch all the games on the deluxe, RCA Victor Television Receiver. Black-and-white pictures, the way God intended humans to watch soccer!
Gertrude! I’m gonna need 800 CC’s of tapioca pudding, stat!
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