Fulham Takes a Deuce
Clint Dempsey finally wipes clean from New England
U.S. National Team midfielder and straight-balla Clint Dempsey may now officially join the English Premier League team, Fulham FC, after receiving his work permit today.
The Deuce will join the National Team Fulham FC and fellow Americans Brian McWife and Carlos Bocaburger. Fulham is also rumored to be interested in acquiring U.S. defender Oguchi Onyewu, thus completing the Hardee’s Team Collector Set (pictured right) and earning the club a free chocolate milk-shake.
“We are very excited to add Clint to our side” explained a Fulham spokesman. “He’s a gifted player with lots of flair.”
The complete details of Deuce’s contract were not announced, but it is believed to include a $3.88 million transfer fee to MLS, “all the internet . . . for free“ and a promise to fly the U.S. colonial era’s “Don’t Tread on Me” flag over Craven Cottage every time all three U.S. players are on the field.
“Man, this deal is tight, yo” Deuce explained to media. “I mean, I’m just so excited to get started ballin’ and doin’ what I do.”
Cottagers can probably expect to the Deuce and his nifty play soon. “It’s not like he’s coming here to sit on the bench,” Fulham boss Chris Coleman said. “He’s coming because we’ve bought him to make a big impact.”
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